I've lost my baby

Well, hi,hi, hi,,,to my dearest blog. So long I don't have the mood to open it and write new things about me. In my last blog post...i wrote there that I am happy coz I got to know that I'm pregnant but unfortunately 1 week after Raya...i've lost my baby. On 19t of Oct 2007, morning when i was getting ready to take my bath,,, I saw blood in my toilet bowl after finished my wee wee. I was reall y scared and didn't know what to do just staring at the blood and wish it was just a dream. I was scared and just sit on the toilet bowl, didn't know what to do. I pray to God, pls I don't want anything bad happen to my baby. My stomach felt so painful at that time. Oh God, I don't know how to tell my husband about it...I cried in the toilet until I heard my husband knocked on the toilet door,,, asking me why I took so long in the toilet and there's no sound from inside. He kept on knocking on the door and asked me if everything's ok. I open the door with my eyes full of tears,,,I hugged him. I don't have the guts to tell him what was happening in the toilet. I just kept on crying and then told him that i'm bleeding and i'm scared like hell.
He tried to consoled me and he kept on saying 'yang, jgn lah jd apa2 yang'. Then he asked me to prepare my bag and he will bring me to the clinic for check up. The doctor scan my tummy and she said the baby cannot be detected so she forwrd me to the hospital for thorough check up. At the hospital I was in the emergency room and the doctor scanned again my tummy and did the endoscope scanned from below. He still can't locate my baby...he told me that might be bcoz my baby just developed estimate 1 mth old so it might have gone out when I bled this morning. I held my husband hand and cried...so sad. I was admitted for 3 days in the hospital for thorough checked up and to cfm whether i was miscarriaged or pregnant luar rahim. I did the blood test but the doctor didn't do anything at the moment. On the 3rd day we got the result and it was confirmed that i've lost my baby and the doctor said there's no need for me to do the D & C...I felt so sad and numb. What to do, takda rezeki for us this time. Hopefully, God will give us another chance for us to be a parents....